god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
