Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize