I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
