I wish my penis had an off switch
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
