so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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