I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
