My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
