I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
