I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize