I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
