Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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