ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize