yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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