at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
