I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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