I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
