I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
