And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
