Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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