Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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