just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
