Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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