their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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