Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
