I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do you have feelings for this penis?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
