I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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