He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
