I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize