You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize