dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
