I feel like I'm in dance class right now
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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