I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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