Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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