My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
