I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
