she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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