Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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