Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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