We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
