I hope mine doesn't look like that
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
