I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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