Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
