Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
