My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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