Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
