Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
