I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
