I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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