his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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