Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
