i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize