please come you make the beer taste better
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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