I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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