My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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