I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A+ Viking dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
