I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize