you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
