There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
