She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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