Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
