I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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