Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
only you would photoshop your dick
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
