You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
