I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize