it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
