I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
