You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
