why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
