not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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